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Entries for April, 2004

April 15th, 2004

THE ALCHEMIST - on me....

Posted by Cerptz at 03:55 PM on April 15, 2004.

THE ALCHEMIST is really great!!! it really went to my head...ouch! hehhehe....

bits of words of wisdom.....actually, learning mula sa book na un....
wait! i still feel my head heavy with all the thoughts it brought to my mind....
you guys better read it!!!! it's quite short,,,so less time...hehehe.....

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I'd been able to relay my words to the night and to the universal aspects of it such as the wind and its cold breeze, the stars and the moon. It happned long ago and now, I yearn for the joy it once brought. I remember --- I longed for my father and hid my tears in the night where i can freely pour out all the the longing I feel and all the pain that I've carried with it since the day I relaized he was gone ---- all emptiness and the imperfections I saw in life.
Through the night, somehow, I felt relieved that i was able to tell another soul what I felt inside.

PRAYERS---had lots of those since I was a child. I recall myself praying to God one time to bring my father back. I believed then so much that it could happen. (hey! i was a kid!) but as time passe I realized it can nevercome to reality and thats one thing I should accept. And to think I believed so much!
Most often, I'd kneel in Church and praty. It would not always be an ordianry oral message to Him. I'd always have a visaion of those people I love and care for...those I keep close to my heart. I know that He understands these visions. I ask that they be kept safe from harm and make them feel that though I'm far from them in phusical means, they always remain close to my heart and there they'll always stay and that no matter what, I'm always there for them disregarding the distance and all other hinderances.
But there's this certain prayer I never perceived was a prayer but I, once in a blue moon, did pray. It was when I feel silent and I felt the whole world becoming one in me, then I understand that what hapens in us is interconnected with what happens to all the things around us. We are binded by one Soul from where all things came from. This prayer was not of words, of pleas nor of thanksgiving. It was of a greater understanding of the world we live in and the reasoning of God. It brings grat pleasures to one's heart as it makes me feel to have somehow, at that moment, grasped a small part pf the Lord's wisdom that many failed to understand and which many still ignore to know.

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Know the meaning of what each day brings forth to your life. Every simple thing, as simple as it may seem, contribute to the person you are to become.
[MAKTUB - it is written] but there are things which are meant to be altered for the better and when we work for ourselves to be better persons, everything around us becomes better as well. Many though fail to face the battle they're supposed to win. The battle that the world gives them to surpass so as to know they're own strength. Many fail to follow and live out the life that has been set for them because they fear what is not known. They therefore age regretting their decision of not pursuing their personal legends or their goals and aspirations...just because they were so coward to do so...so coward of change and of the yet unseen.
Our hearts speak to us since the very moment we open our eyes to the beauty of the world. But most of the times, we ignore its loud cry which should not be so. It is essential that we heed what our heart has to say. From it, we'll know our weaknesses and fears and therefore should learn how to deal with it. It is also vital so that we will be confident that the path we have chosen is right and turning back would be unwise and foolish. The heart has so much to teach. We should then hear it speak for what it speaks make sense rather than what is outside us does say. From it too we'll know ourselves better.

FEAR causes greater sorrow than that which is feared.
Those are the right words to say....
most often, we are afraid of what lies ahead and make ourselves believe that we cannot endure it....
but the courageous people try amidst the fact that they're scared...
and the last line in their story is...
"It wasn't that bad at all"
They were able to face their fears and were able to learn and experience a lot more.... thats the joy life brings... satisfaction only comes after suffering and pain....

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1 voices

April 18th, 2004

for old times sake...

Posted by Cerptz at 06:32 PM on April 18, 2004.

April 18

Last night, two of cousins were here....Demi and Kuya Jayrone....
hehehe.....d na inabot yung last trip kya d2 na na2log...
nwy, we watched Star in a Million to see how my cousin, Joan Peconcillo, perform...she did well really and she was prettier than her last appearance...but then, she was eliminated from the group of April contestants....sayang nga e....but its ok.....I know God has better plans for her. And for us, she remains to be a winner! ΓΌ

I slept at 1 in the morning already...my borther and kuya Jayrone are still awake playing the new game my cousin installed...

It was queer that I dreamt of my friend, Katherine Conde....
The dream was about me seeing her again...
See, she was supposed to come back here last Friday but her trip was cancelled due to her colds and slight fever perhaps or something like that...
nwy, back to dream...I was so happy to see her again that I hugged her so tight....the feeling is so unexplainable
that was the first dream I had.

This morning, I woke up at 9 already so wasnt able to attend mass this morning. At about 9:30, I received a msg from Katherine Conde telling me to go to their house to pick up the cd's I asked from her....
I was disturbed!
She was supposed to be in Manila! so I asked her were she was and she said she's here in Goa....
wow! quite a shock! it may have been instinct or something or just plain coincidence that I had that dream and afterwards receive a msg from her that she's already here!
nwy, I went to mass at 630 after closing the business for the day....
afterwards, i went to their house to see her...
andun nga!! well, she gave me the cd's and a gift (i think that was for my birthday.hehehe...) then, we started exchanging toughts and stuff wewant each other to know bout the way we live now....
RJ came with the pictures for the prom (a month had past, ngaun ko pa lng nakuha un...) so, we shared things....
daming topics....ung schools nmin for college since we are entering different universities....
KAT is in UST -Legal Management
RJ is going to Diliman - ComEng
me?? still undecided! if my slot is ADMu was not comfirmed, I think my parents would bring me to ADENU..and I don't want it there! I mean, I'd see all those guys again! Paulinians!!!!!!

well, another prob.got loadz of those already and here comes another one...
so, time plew by......maya-maya, its already 10:00 pm and we're still there! sobrang bilis ng time! It was only 7:30 when I came in and after seemingly minutes that past, 10:00 na!!!!!
so, RJ got his motorcycle and we got ready coz they were supossed to accompany me to my house....and he's going to talk to my mom bout me coming home late!hahaha!!!! actually, both of them will....

kaya yun! hinatid nila ako and then the day ended....
basta! this entry may seem lame but what I felt really was unexplainable!!!

ever felt comfortable when you have someone to share things you kept form others and they seem to undersand you so well? ganun e... that was the reason why I missed Kathy so much! She had always been there to hear me out and more!!!!
it's nice to think that there are some thing that we all have in common and some we all have to share with each other....

this is actually the highlight of this entry....my 7...8...9...10......3 and a half hours with RJ ad Kathy.............my past buddies!!!!!!!who remain to be my friend today but we live spearate these days....
kaya nga sana Manila rin ako coz gusto ko, there'd be sometime na makakasama ko rin cla somehow.....
well, guess I'd continue praying........

commemorating and living out the past really is good with some friends you haven't talked with for quite sometime....
the best part is, we do live separately now, but when we come together, we have different stories to tell that we all are willing to listen to and learn from.......

I luv them!!!!!

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Add.

inside the Church, I felt that wonderful feeling of being with Him once again. but, just when the mass was coming to an end....I saw someone who really caused my temperature to rise! guess who? the everplastic Ms Nacion!!!!!!!!! -----------the hypocrite who tore my world into pieces a year ago....who had the courage and kapal ng mukha to talk to me back in the Traslacion....when it was her who I hate most!!!! she really is a pain...
bcoz of this, I became more determined to do well in my college so that in time, after 10 years perhaps, I'd search the entire globe for her and slap on her face everything that she did!---they did!!!
True, one should not carry anger on her chest but what can i do? i recall everything they did everytime I gan sight of them.........
they'll see in time.-----they were wrong to take sides.i'd let them know that one day......and i'd be looking forward for that day to come!

This is the only thing which ruined my day!
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unseen