why does it bother mo sooooo much????

i really wanna go back home....even for a minute.(no!that would be nonsense)......a day perhaps....
i can't get my mind to think straight!!!!!!!

i keep looking back to USI days.....
and SPA days.....but more on the first....
the joys and the pain and the insanity.....

i know im going nuts but......help me!!!!!!!
i'm not who I used to be.....

I have this focus problem.......I can't get my mind do math(summarizes EVERYTHING)......unlike before....

it may sound so simple but it it really troubles me a lot....
it affects my studies and everything!!!!!!!!
i hope I won't drown in this.....

I need to see those ppl....i know I do....
I need to look into their eyes....and feel the same pain I had....
the pain that inspired me to accept the challenge of being here.....

right now, I feel like I don't feel that pain much now.....
and this is what I must change....
that anger......sorrow.......is what made me stand.
i don't wanna lose it....

it is what I need to stay strong......

wala tlga!!!!!!!naiirita ako!!!!!!
if only things can be controlled to how you want them to be....
kc....
i keep trying.....pero hindi ko tlga kaya...

without the actual pain felt.....kung iisipin ko lng, I won't be able to fight well......

I have to stay with my vow....i have to be true to it....

Till this very day, I still yearn to wake up on that day when....

they'll see everything....they've lost.....
they'll feel how great pain they gave me......

sumday.....it'll happen.......
sana.........

i feel like crying over this.....but..... veve, ada, shiegy.....they're not here....
I don't have anybody to hug tight.....no shoulders to cry unto.....no warm embraces.....no sweet friendly true words to hear.....
nothing!

just as it had been....

It's not a new song...llang....just reminds me of precious memories with Veve, Karen........Ada, Shiegy.......most specially Veve syempre....
yan yung song na sinabi ko sa kanya before....
sabi dw hindi nya alam yung song...tpos nabalitaan ko n lng, kinanata nya on a certain event....
o well! basta....it meaning deeply means a lot to me....tpos, yung memories that comes with it.....

aaaaaaaaa!!!!!!kakakmiss

heheheh...

______________________________________

inx.

yung RAINBOW pa pla.....

USI 2004......."the rainbow will end in the palm of your hands....don't ever let it go..."
shocks!naiiyak na ako....hehehhe....


RAINBOW
South Border


Fallin' out, fallin' in
Nothing's sure in this world no, no
Breakin' out, breakin' in
Never knowin' what lies ahead
We can really never tell it all no, no, no
Say goodbye, say hello
To a lover or friend
Sometimes we never could understand
Why some things begin then just end
We can really never tell it all no, no, no

But oh, can't you see
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on
So baby, just/please smile
Coz im always around you
And ill make you see how beautiful
Life is for you and me

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies color's
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

Ohh, whoa

Hittin' high, hittin' low
Win or lose you should go, yeah yeah
Getting warm, getting cold
Weather could be so good or bad
But baby this is life now don't get mad no, no, no

Coz oh, cant you see
That no matter what happens
Life goes on and on
So baby, please smile
Coz im always around you
And ill make you see how beautiful
Life is for you and me

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies' colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

Life's full of challenges
Not all the time we get what we want
But don't despair my dear coz I know now
You'll take each trial and you'll make it through the storm
Coz you're strong my faith in you is clear
So ill say once again this worlds wonderful and
Let us celebrate life that's so beautiful, so beautiful
Ohhhh

Take a little time baby
See the butterflies' colors
Listen to the birds that were sent
To sing for me and you
Can you feel me
This is such a wonderful place to be
Even if there is pain now
Everything would be all right
For as long as the world still turns
There will be night and day
Can you hear me
There's a rainbow always after the rain

hhhhaaayy!
it really feels good to keep in touch with your family...
my mom just called early this afternoon to check me out...
it was great talking to her -- the one who raised me into who i am now. i felt relieved somehow...comsidering all the thoughts troubling my mind...

it may not seem that much special....
guess I'm just missing them so much!!!!!!
kahit sabihing sana'y na ako to be apart from my family...iba pa rin kapag kasama sila....